The Power of the Word “Today”

I will never forget the words my veterinarian told me a while back….

She had just given me some horrible news regarding my dog’s health at the time.  She explained that he was suffering from Cushings Syndrome which would cause him to age very rapidly.  Ultimately, I would have to be the one to determine at what point he was suffering too much to continue…

(Now, if you know me very well, you know that I don’t show many signs of humanity or vulnerability.)  But as my mind began racing and my dog laid his tired head across my foot in my pair of brown flip-flops, I started asking the hard questions in a “give it to me straight, doc” kind of way.  But then, as I talked my voice kept breaking and my eyes began to burn, and all my efforts to keep it in apparently weren’t fooling the vet as I saw a tear roll down her cheek.  Her answers became just as broken as my questions.

But then she said something that made the whole room fill with sunlight.  She said,

“The good news…is that TODAY you don’t have to make that decision.  Yes, he has bad days and those will continue to get worse, but TODAY, he is okay.”

How many times do we borrow sorrow from the future , when we have TODAY right in front of us?  So I did just that. I took him home and we lived out the remaining six months of his life living day to day. We both knew it was ending, but that made each day more special.

So I guess my thought today is just to live in the moment right in front of you. God gives you grace for the day, but if you are borrowing from it to solve your worries of tomorrow…you’re not going to have enough.  Just stick with TODAY.  Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Mat 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

TODAY IS THE DAY
by Lincoln Brewster

I putting my fears aside
I’m leaving my doubts behind
I’m giving my hopes and
dreams to you, Jesus

I’m reaching my hand to yours
Believing there’s so much more
Knowing that all you have
in store for me is good

Today is the day you have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day you have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it

I will stand upon your truth
And all my days i’ll live for you

Best Moment Ever!

It is Sunday morning…. I had just bussed all the way from Michigan to Nashville through the night.  I found a shoney’s bathroom, shaved, brushed my teeth and fixed my hair (or messed it up….however you want to look at it.)  Then changed back into my gig clothes in the stall (because it was the closest thing to church clothes I had with me).  I had breakfast and drove about 45 minutes to go to church with my sister and brother in law.

I remember the preacher saying something about how we should dress different than the world….and since I was the only one NOT in a shirt and tie that morning…well, I guess he thought it’s something I should work on.  lol.  But no matter how I was dressed, it didn’t take away from what would happen about 30 minutes later…

I was meeting my sister’s fam at Carrabba’s. I walked in the door and three little kids exclaimed to the top of their lungs, “It’s Uncle Robert!”  I didn’t even make it all the way in the door and I had three pairs of arms wrapped around my legs.  I had to drop to my knees and pick up Hillary who refused to let go.

“Mom, Uncle Robert’s Here!”  (William)

“Uncle Robert, sit over here by me!” (Natalie)

“Ruff Ruff!” (Hillary, she turns into a dog the second I see her and insists on being call “Chey”)

The whole restaurant turned to find out who this celebrity named “Uncle Robert” was.  The hostess laughed and greeted me as “Uncle Robert.”  I saw people’s faces turn to smiles as our eyes met.  Yes, everyone in that room wished they were Uncle Robert.  But it was me.  Eat your heart out world!  That was my moment and no one can take that away from me!

PS.  The restaurant manager came out and met these three little angels and gave them a FREE sunday on the house for being so good and polite–but you have to do more than that to get the “uncle robert” treatment!

“God’s Will” is not an excuse to sit around.

(thoughts on 2 Chronicles 1)
I loved David’s attitude.  He never got over-stressed in finding God’s “perfect” will or “permissive” will.  Instead, He knew that God WOULD work His purpose through him.  All he had to do is “acknowledge Him,”  live righteously, and DO whatever his hand found to do with all his might. Pro 3:6, Psa 37:23

Throughout Davids life you see a man of action, a warrior, a musician, a king, yet a humble and dependent child of God who never hesitated to obey God’s command.   As he “acknowledged and served” God, David had complete confidence that God would make his efforts successful.

That is how he approached the building of the temple.  He simple wanted God to have an even grander house than King David’s, so he started preparing to build.  That is when God sent his priest NATHAN (love that guy) to tell Him that God didn’t want him to build the temple but to simply gather resources instead.   And David did just that.

LESSON 1: DO SOMETHING
David never sat around.  He was always actively serving God.   And, the one time David did more than God wanted him to, God gently pulled him aside (without consequence) and shared an even bigger plan with him.  BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, God gave him an essential part of that plan.

LESSON 2: HELP SOMEONE ELSE DO SOMETHING
David’s temple would not have been as grand as Solomon’s.  And Solomon’s temple would not have been the same without David’s resources.   David had to recognize that he would spend the remainder of his days sacrificing and gathering the finest resources in all the world for a project that he would not be able to manage.

WOW. If our only churches and government had more Davids.  As I look around at so many talented people like Leah Taylor, Matt Mills, John Paul Holmes, Jamie Anderson, James Jernigan…and so many more,  I can’t help but think that somewhere along the way,  people were suppose to store or provide resources for them to accomplish a higher purpose.   Yes, God’s plan will be accomplished. But imagine how much grander these ministries would be if generations worked together as a body.  That was the idea I had behind a BUSINESS PLAN God gave me to transform the American Music Industry.

LESSON 3:  DO YOUR PART WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT
David spared no expense, nor did Solomon.   David spent the rest of his days searching the world for the best of the best materials.  But while he did that, he also prepared his people to support Solomon’s vision.

LESSON 4: LET GOD BE THE ARCHITECT
Any great plan is much bigger than one generation!   And it takes EVERY generation giving everything they have to make it complete.  God is the only one who will be around for the whole process.  Let’s surrender to Him and let go of our own plans.  Just take whatever is in front of you and make the most of it.

What have you done today?
Are you simply sitting and waiting on God?
-Or-
Are you serving God and letting Him guide you?

Thoughts God gave me on this:
God does not guide something that isn’t already moving.
God guides gently, but He jump-starts with force.
God punished the man who buried his talent, but rewarded those who invested, regardless of the return. Mat 25:12
God has given you something (making money, talent, wisdom) what have you done with it?
If your gift needs a partner…FIND THEM!

How will God react to your excuses?
So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest. Therefore take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.

For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’   –Mat 25:27-30

Eating a Sandwich in the Dark

BTW: at 3am, it’s still dark outside.  That is the time of day i decided to start my drive back to pensacola from nashville.  I tiptoed through my sisters house and loaded up my car.

As my stomach rumbled, I realized I forgot the sandwich my sister said she made me the night before for my trip.  I go back inside and opened her fridge.  There in a perfectly folded paper bag is my sandwich.   but surrounding it was several other lunches:
> one for Will in a cool little manly insulated lunch bag
> a pretty pink one for Natalie
> and a man-sized lunch for Dad

I quickly grab my lunch and head for the door.  There, hanging by the door are the kid’s two little book bags all packed and ready for later that morning along with warm coats and cozy shoes.   My sister thinks of everything!   I quickly pass by and head to the car.  As I’m pulling out of the driveway, my stomach rumbles again and I reach for the sandwich.

It was in THAT moment of putting a sandwich to my mouth IN THE DARK…that I realized I didn’t know what kind of sandwich it was.   For all I knew…it could have been a mean practical joke, maybe rotten meat, or worse…advocatos!

I hesitated.

Then I remembered the loving hands that prepared those lunch bags in the fridge, that thoughtful person that keeps those coats clean and prepared the bookbags.  It was then that I know that those same sweet hands put together that sandwich for me.  I didn’t worry anymore, I ate that sandwhich in the dark without even smelling it first.

THAT WAS THE MESSAGE!  That was what God had been teaching me over and over all week.  Faith!    Faith is taking a bite of a sandwich you can’t see, but knowing the hands that prepared it have nothing but love for you.

Thanks Pam!  It was delicious!

2011: A Better Man

Last year I spent the year studying what it means to worship God in “spirit and truth.”  What I found was that our denominations take God’s word and (with their actions) either deny His power or use it improperly for their benefit.  If you are truly going to worship God in Spirit and in Truth, you need to find believers who follow God’s word and nothing else.  They measure every teaching by It and guide their life by It.  When you accept this, when you believe it, when you let His spirit work in you…then you will see a whole dimension to life we were meant to walk in everyday. This study will definitely continue, because God continues to speak and reveal new things to me as I seek Him in this light.

I finally came up with THIS year’s  new years resolution!  That is to be a “better man.”
In most cultures there are ceremonies or “rites of passage” for boys to signify that they are now men.  This involves men teaching men about being a man of pride and humility…how to be a good follower and a great leader.    In my 36 years (37 this year)  I have struggled to find this in our culture.

What I have found though, is there are a lot of rules that exist in our past culture that were never passed down.  There are ceremonies that were designed for men but have fallen by the wayside.    My goal this year is to explore this topic.  Men are a creature of “form and function” and I want to know the rules and reasons behind these things.

I can already tell you I am interested in the lost art of grooming practices, clothing rules, cigars/pipes, cars…(Ladies, this will not interest you at all.  You won’t get the attraction to these things–but then you are not suppose to.  Matter-of-fact, if you are one of those women who thought you would get married and have a Ken doll to dress and control, you REALLY won’t like this experiment !   As a man, I might not even get them all myself, but my goal is that by the end of this year, I will be able to find the kind of dignity my grandfather had in being an American man.  Our culture has ripped us a part, but then men themselves have done their part in tearing our sex down.

What does it mean to be an American man?

I have my work cut out for me!

…A Thousand Words

So, you have heard, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”  Well, as a photographer/marketer, I KNOW this is true.    But every once in a while you see a vision that even though you have a camera in-hand…you choose not to even try to capture its beauty.

I had an amazing weekend of travel. I had the opportunity of playing keys for SONICFLOOD for their New Years Eve gig in Colorado Springs.  (who, incidentally is  the very first worship band whose song I had to learn for the band “Garrison” back in 2003.)  So you can imagine the honor and humility I felt from getting to see this band in this light.   These guys are Christ-like and ministers first.  Their amazing talents and legacy is simply a bonus.

THE SET UP:
So we are in route from Colorado Springs to the Denver Airport (about 1.5 hours).  It is 5AM after going to bed at 2:30AM.  It is 4 degrees.  Yes, in some places other than florida the temperature is represented with a lonely one digit number–a new and haunting experience for me.

I am in the van. all the guys are asleep.  I have contorted my body to fit around the music equipment.  I can’t feel my feet from the cold. and just when it can’t get any more miserable, I shift to make more room for Ron; and I dump my coffee in my lap.  I won’t lie.  For a brief moment, the warmth was enjoyable; but that was VERY short-lived.

THE PICTURE:
So in this moment I look ahead at the road thinking, “WILL THIS RIDE EVER END.”   Ahead, all I see black endlessness. The only thing illuminated is a snow-covered road which adds to the numbing cold feeling I am experiencing.  Impatient, I turn my head to the right and what I saw took my breath away!

Through the filter of a snow stained window, The sky faded down from black to an indescribable blue.  This blue was contrasted by the black silhouette of the Rocky Mountains.   But the moon… it was huge and bright.  It was a quarter moon but you could still see the rest of the moon shape slightly illuminated.  There were 2 stars in the sky.  one just below the moon and one very bright star above the moon a little further in distance.  It looked like an indian fantasy painting.

As I reached to grab my phone to take a photo, I stopped myself.  I knew a photo would NEVER capture this feeling I was experiencing so I chose to just sit and stare.  I forgot about the cold. I forgot about the long ride.  I even forgot about the unfortunately placed coffee stain on my jeans. But here is the lesson in this experience:
When the road ahead seems endless, cold and unbearable….just look around you.  God is throwing blessings at you every second of every day.  Negativity lives only in the fear of the future or of the past.  Today…RIGHT NOW…Hope and beauty is all around you, just turn your head to the right.

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained, What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him?   Psa 8:3

Here are some other pics I took this weekend that didn’t need a thousand words:

God Showing Off:

Four Degrees:

Leaving The Rockies:

Chasing Cars

article by Robert Gilliard on Friday, November 26, 2010 at 1:07am

http://www.youtube.com/v/GrpSjXo6ah0?fs=1&hl=en_US%22

Yes, I should be sleeping. But I can honestly say, i have never hurt quite this way.  I keep fighting the urge to go let chey in from outside. because it is so quiet in my house.  Then there’s the sense of loss when I climb in to bed and he waits for my hand to reach out and pet him in the dark before he goes and makes his bed somewhere on the floor.  I literally am going to have to learn to live again.  I could write a million stories about that dog, but tonight, I am just going to share why the song “Chasing Cars” will forever make me cry when I hear it.

“We’ll do it all, Everything, On our own.  We don’t need…Anything Or anyone.”
This was our motto. Not cause we meant it to be…but that was the hand LIFE dealt us and we went with it.  But the more time went by…the more we realized we were great on our own.  Friends, and things would come and go, But I always knew I could come home and his excitement would override anything else going on in our lives. My hurt, his pain, all melted in those first few seconds of walking through that door.  Now I don’t ever know if that brick wall of silence I walk into will bring a smile on my face or tears to my eyes.

“If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me, And just forget the world? Let’s waste time, Chasing cars Around our heads”
Neither of us knew how to play. I have come to the conclusion that it is a learned behavior and well…we never learned it.  When we were happy, I would just jump around him and he would bark at me while I barked back.  When he got bored with this,  I would just lay on the floor and he would lay beside me at a safe distance.  (You see as I developed a bubble of personal space from my relationships, so did he.  We didn’t cuddle, we didn’t get too close to eachother because that seemed to be uncomfortable for both of us.)  But I would lay there on the floor, reach out and grab his paw with one hand and scratch his head with the other. This was acceptable and all we needed.

“I don’t quite know How to say How I feel.  Those three words Are said too much They’re not enough”
Just the night before he died, I came to the complete realization that he was deaf.  He could hear certain frequencies, but the sound of my voice was not in that register.  His deafness just goes to show just how deep we knew each other.  He didn’t have to hear me talk to know what I liked and didn’t. He never had to learn how to tell me he needed to go out.  I just always took him out and he would wait until I did.  He had spent his 11 years serving me and he knew just what to do to make me proud to be his owner. He didn’t need words to know that I loved him, and I didn’t need words to know that he would give his life for me. We just knew each other and that was one in the same. As I worked on a wedding song I was writing that last night, he laid his head on my leg.  I scooped him up and held him for a bit–and for once he didn’t protest.  he just layed there.

“Forget what we’re told, Before we get too old, show me a garden, That’s bursting into life”
Even though I saw his failing health…there were those moments when he was a puppy.  When a treat was all he needed to transform into the 2-month old ball of fur I brought home in my arms 11 years before.  Like everytime I came home and it was a celebration in his little world. Or, evertime I grabbed his collar and his ears would perk up to go for a ride.

“All that I am. All that I ever was, Is here in your perfect eyes, They’re all I can see”"I don’t know where, Confused about how as well, Just know that these things Will never change for us at all”
From moment one…our whole lives where chaos.  houses changed, people changed, cities changes, cars changes, appearances changed…but we stayed the same.  In his last few months he had bouts with dimensia.  He didn’t know where he was, but he knew who he was looking for. I would catch him frantickly searching for me–sometimes even going past me in his panic.  As soon as he would find me, he would calm down and rest again. If I left him in the car, he would stare out the window for me till I returned.  If I left him with a friend he would stay by the door till I came back.  I am so proud that I was able to be that for him–that “home base” and he was truly that for me.  No matter where I went, what city I was in…if he was with me, i didn’t worry.  I had all I needed.  I really feel homeless right now.  What kills me the most is that he knew me…all of me. yet none of that changed me in his perfect eyes. To him, there was nothing I could do to come down from the pedestal he put me on.  He completely trusted me with his heart and never questioned me for a second.

“I need your grace, To remind me To find my own”
This is where I am going to have to end this writing.  This is where I can’t keep going; because, I’m scared.  Im scared of who I will become without him. No, I dont think there is going to be an instant transformation.  But, over time. I see how much I have changed. Little by little, how divorce has changed me. how people have wronged me. how every shred of innocence and blissful ignorance was taken from me and how each little thing effects and shapes who I become. I believe with all my heart that Jesus died on the cross for me.  I also believe that He loved me unconditionally.  It breaks my heart to say, but as I look around, I don’t see examples of that kind of love.  but Chey gave me hope that somewhere in this world there was unconditional, pure love.  That something on this earth could know me and still pick his favorite place in this world to be right by my side. And since today is Thanksgiving 2010…I guess I have something to be very thankful for – even though it hurts to write that.

cheyenne
“Faithful buddy”
1999 – 11/24/2010 3pm

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Melissa Epps Vaughn of Eppicmoments Photography:
It is with a very sad heart that I am writing this blog tonight. Many of you have come into the studio, and have been given a warm fuzzy greeting by Chey. He would be one of the first to welcome you and make you feel at home. Rob brought him home as a 2 month old fur ball, and the two of them became inseperable. Rob and EppicMoments lost Chey this week. He will be forever remembered in our hearts.
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Robert Gilliard:
Below is a message from my good friend Sarah. I wanted to keep her words with this note:

Chey was a wonderful example of a True Friend. A constant in an ever changing atmosphere. I’d say, Chey may have been the closest Friend God would allow you to have – next to your relationship with Himself. In my heart, I always felt like he was your own Guardian Angel – in the flesh. Not just to guard you from possible intruders, but to protect you from giving up on certain things and areas in your life. I don’t think it was by chance that you two became Master and Friend. God knows all things.
What I find so special is that Chey was a Friend to everyone. Michelle and I still have pictures of ourselves with him. I remember house sitting for you – he would sit there and just watch me. I would sit there and stare at him. He would eventually lick my nose! So, needless to say, I lost the staring game – but I won the kiss on the nose! I think everyone knew he was special – by the experience they had with him.
What a treasure! What a Friend! But, most of all – what a wonderful reminder of God! In the ever changing world, God is constant. He is our Friend. He is our Family. He will never leave us alone. He will pick us up when we are down. He knows our faults and doesn’t care. He loves us!
I know you feel sorrow, but find joy and comfort in the wonderful momories and times you shared with Chey.
I know the path is long… but Keep walking, my Friend

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Robert Gilliard:
wow. I didn’t realize how every other thought and my day-to-day routine was centered around his well being and what he might need from me

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Lakeshia Blocker:
Robert, the other day when you posted that song, I balled my eyes out. I don’t know what to say to you and haven’t said anything because I just can’t find the words. I am crying because I love you Robert and imagining the hurt that your heart is feeling breaks mine to pieces. The closest thing I can relate to is losing my best friend, my companion, my partner who knew what I was thinking and feeling with out a word being spoken, my momma.All I know to say is, time heals so much. Not everything, but it helps.It has been an honor to have known Chey. Even though he secretly cringed when he saw my kids, rather it was because they raced him to the “Snack Pantry” or bc they were just too loud, we all adored him. Even after beating one of my children up (Buster!) We STILL adored him!I know the pain seems to be unbearable, but just hang in there. You have friends and family that are ready to help you heal in anyway. AND not to mention 2 out of 3 nephews that are ready to help you fill in that “quietness” whenever you’re ready! We love you Robert-o!